BAYSIDE — Ilana Cabrera had it all. She was living in Bayside and married to a loving husband and caring father.
"He was the best dad ever," she said.
Cabrera was madly in love with her husband.
“This was the best day of my life, and I remember almost every single second of it," she said while holding a photo from their wedding day.
But life can change in an instant.
“And he died after actually falling down our basement stairs."
While carrying furniture downstairs, he slipped. He went into a coma for about 50 days. After those nearly two months, Cabrera decided they had waited long enough and tried everything they could. Doctors took him off life support and her kids said goodbye to their father in January 2021.
That was tough to handle. So, Cabrera joined a grief group for widows. That’s when she met her friend Lisa Coffman.
"(My husband) was funny and smart and he was also an incredible father," Coffman said.
Coffman's husband died from late-stage muscular dystrophy in May 2020.
“I’m not sad when people talk about him. What makes me sad is the thought that he might be forgotten," Coffman said.
The two bonded over their trauma and grief. They would go on walks together and talk about their emotions as widows and single mothers.
Then they came up with an idea.
Introducing - Widow is a Five Letter Word. It's a fashion brand and organization designed to help widows through the grief process. It launched in April 2023.
“This is a way to say I want to talk about my loved one. I want to talk about how I’m feeling like truly like not just hi how are you great I’m fine," Cabrera said.
Some shirts are serious and others are comedic.
“For instance, you know, wearing a shirt that says I kissed a corpse, you know, like it’s silly enough that I hope if I’m out in public wearing it you might laugh," Coffman said.
Other shirts say Good Mourning, Plot Twist, Widower Strong, Feeling Extra Griefy, Dead Dads Club, and more.
"We're all dying, and if you’re married unless you die together, flip a coin one of you is going to die and one of you is going to be left with grief," Coffman said.
It’s hard to know what to say or how to approach someone about such a dear loss. These shirts help open up the conversation.
“Try to normalize grief and provide some comfort while expressing yourself through clothing because sometimes you don’t always want to say it out," Cabrera said.
You can get involved by going to the website. Each shirt costs $28. Along, with the shop Cabrera and Coffman write a blog detailing their journeys through grief.
Life changes fast, so it’s important to confront the uncomfortable - whether it's by talking about your feelings or wearing them on your chest.
It’s about time to watch on your time. Stream local news and weather 24/7 by searching for “TMJ4” on your device.
Available for download on Roku, Apple TV, Amazon Fire TV, and more.
