The organization Hope Domestic Violence Homicide Help reports in 2019, 80 people in the state of Wisconsin died to domestic violence homicide. Shannon Sims of TMJ4 News had the rare opportunity to sit in on a program helping abusers end the cycle of violence.
Behind the doors of the Asha Project, a small group of men open up and get honest.
Elliot R., one of the men, reveals to the group - " I'm ashamed to say that I hit women, especially now."
He is one of several men over the last 20 years that have come to the Asha Project seeking help through the Ujimma men's program.
Shawn Muhammad runs the twenty-four-week court-mandated abuser treatment program on the city's north side.
"Domestic violence and affairs of the heart are not black and white, said Muhammad, "not cut and dry, so it's very important for us to deal with the abuser as well as the abused ."
This program is one of many in Milwaukee county that addresses the violent behavior of those that abuse - but they have a unique approach at the Asha project.
"It was created by black man for black man, even though I do have men of other cultures that come here who feel more comfortable in our setting, you know, white man, Latino man, Arab man, you name it," said Muhammad.
On a Saturday morning, Shawn leads a discussion on power and control and what triggers the men to feel out of balance resulting in overpowering their intimate partner.
"This group is about getting tools, getting wisdom, rising above our emotions into the thinking of God," asserts Muhammad, "We can never allow someone to rent space in our heads where they control us."
Shawn believes he's connected with the men in his program because of one simple thing.
"I'm not condemning them. Not coming to them with a punitive response, they feel like well, you know, Shawn is tough on me, brother Shawn is holding me accountable, but brother Shawn loves me too."
Elliot admits love is what's missing a lot of the time with men who strike out against their intimate partners.
"I thought I loved them. We were in a relationship, but in all actuality, I didn't know how to love myself."
Muhammad is quick to admit this program isn't a silver bullet, but it is part of the solution in breaking the cycle of violence.
"For me, in doing this work, I have to believe in behavior change, so what I do is try to get people in and understand it is a learned behavior, so what so what I try to do is plant seeds that will help them to unlearn that behavior."
Elliot has completed his 24 weeks but continues to stay involved in the program for himself and to motivate others.
In the last three years, Muhammad says he has had 87 men enrolled in the program. Seventy-nine have completed the program.
Shawn credits the use of a 'buddy system' for participants after completion as a way to cut down on recidivism.
To learn about all the programs offered at the Asha Project, click here.
