SHEBOYGAN, Wis — More than 30 people are finding connection, friendship and a sense of belonging through music at the Dementia-Friendly Choir of Sheboygan.
“It's made up of people who have dementia. It's for people also who are caregivers, as well as anybody who's been affected by dementia, which is pretty much most people,” said Carra-lyn Conger, director of the Janet L. Herrick Dementia-Friendly Choir.
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For Julie Messner, the choir is especially meaningful. She has never missed a rehearsal, marking every attendance check on her sheet. But her connection to dementia goes far beyond the music.
In 2011, Messner began noticing changes in her mother's behavior. She remembers one moment when her mother looked out the window at a bird feeder and mistook a bird for a dog. Later, her husband, Brian, also developed dementia.
Both her mother and husband passed away in 2019.
During Thursday's rehearsal, Messner became emotional while reflecting on her late husband, saying she believes he would be proud of her.
“Love them like they were still ones you fell in love with. Because that part of them is still in there somewhere,” Messner said.
For Conger, moments like these are a reminder of why the choir matters. She says music can be especially beneficial for people experiencing memory loss.
"Music is important for everybody, especially people with memory loss. It helps them to trigger different parts of their brain, keeps them active," Conger said.
Conger also remembers the impact of the choir from its very first rehearsal. One member, who had not sung in nearly 20 years, approached her afterward with tears in her eyes.
“She’s finally singing again, and she just, it was just a wonderful feeling to be able to bring music back into her life,” Conger recalled.
The choir also provides a welcoming environment where members don't have to worry about being judged.
“There’s no judgment. You don’t have to be able to carry a tune. Other people will carry it for you. It’s open to everybody,” said Emily Rendall-Araujo, director of senior services for the city of Sheboygan, who also plays piano for the choir.
One example is Marilyn Zimmerman. She recently celebrated her 96th birthday, and the choir has provided a supportive community as she begins noticing changes in her own memory. Zimmerman says not everyone understands what she is experiencing in everyday life.
“They say, ‘Well, come on, lady. Let's get going.’ But most people here are very understanding and helpful,” Zimmerman said.
That understanding extends to the way members support one another during rehearsals. If someone loses their place in a song, other choir members step in to help them follow along.
“They'll jump in to make sure they're on the right page, the right measure, that sort of thing,” Rendall-Araujo said.
At the choir, members don't have to keep up on their own. They can find support in one another, and a place where everyone has a voice. The choir's upcoming performance will take place Nov. 21 at Uptown Social in Sheboygan, and the organizers hope the performance will showcase more than the songs members have practiced.
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