MILWAUKEE-- While sights from Pittsburgh after the shooting at Tree of Life Synagogue have become all too familiar, the questions from kids never get any easier.
"He's only two right now," Colleen Kickbush said. "But I do feel like he's going to have questions. A lot of times, kids have questions when they are either afraid or feel a little unsafe about a situation. I think it's important to be as honest as possible but a lot of times, we have to teach kids ahead of time."
Kickbush has the same dilemma as a lot of parents raising their kids in this era. How much is too much when educating them after a mass shooting? It's especially difficult when dealing with an allegedly racially motivated attack, like in Pittsburgh.
"If asking questions on why someone would do something like that, it's ok to answer that you're not quite sure," Dr. Munter Barakat, Clinical Psychologist with Aurora Health Care said. "A lot of times, people are afraid of what they don't know or if they have less experience around certain people, they might start being afraid of people irrationally."
There can be many layers to a conversation like this for parents. There are questions of death, motive, security and more. A common theme in the conversation is hate and where it comes from. Dr. Barakat says the best way to combat hate is with education.
"Counteract that misinformation that these individuals might have," Barakat said. "The best thing we can do, if we're working with kids, adolescents, is to continue to educate them on appropriate information and counteract that misinformation they may be getting. The more similarities we connect with others, the more likelihood that fear will go down and will educate them."
Barakat says hate is learned. So addressing hate can be a difficult, but extremely important conversation to have with kids so it does not continue into their adult lives.
"It has to start early with children," Barakat said. "Providing appropriate information. Once an individual becomes an adult, they'll have more control over their environment and they're going to set up an environment to reinforce their beliefs. At that point, it becomes difficult to challenge that individual because they'll be stuck in their ways to act out. You can hate not eating a particular food and that's fine. But once you start hating a person and generalizing and developing a belief system that prevents you from acting appropriately interpersonally, then it becomes an issue."
It's something Kickbush has already started with her two year old. Her husband has a visual impairment. She's enrolling her son in classes with other kids who have a similar disability to get him acclimated with people who are different than him.
"Everyone is different and that's a good thing," Kickbush said. "That's what makes everybody special. Everyone is entitled to have their own opinions but you never hurt someone because they're different."
