MILWAUKEE — I’ve been wanting to do this story for a while now.
I’ve worked in places where, sadly, so many families have been impacted by gun violence. As a morning anchor, I felt like, so often I would wake up each morning to another email about another child shot.
There are times when we’re able to speak with families after loss but how do they feel days, months, years down the line? After reporting on gun violence yet again, the idea came back to me. How powerful would it be to hear from the families that are heartbreakingly left without their son, daughter, brother or sister?
If violence doesn’t affect you where you live, it’s important to understand these victims aren’t just statistics and numbers. There are families in our community, left hurting without their loved ones. They deserve to use their voice to share their stories.
I always say you never know what someone is going through and how your story may help them.
Since 2015, nearly 1,200 people have been shot and killed in Milwaukee.
I wanted to speak with some of these families to give them a space to meet one another, relate to each other to maybe share memories together, laugh and even cry to hopefully take one step closer to a place of healing.
On a mild Thursday in September, I met with a woman named Debra Gillespie. Debra’s son was murdered 20 years to the day, on that Thursday. Her son, Kirck Bickham Jr., was shot and killed with two of his friends at a bar on Port Washington Ave. in Milwaukee. Debra and I met at the location where he was killed.
Debra arrived early so she could set up her photos of Kirk and his two friends. That bar no longer existed. It has since been transformed into a church.
As Debra was gathering her photos, preparing to show them to me and TMJ4’s chief photojournalist, a man approached her to ask what she was doing. The man introduced himself as the pastor of the church.
"I said may I see the inside and he showed me the inside and I just can't believe what God has done with this place,” Debra said. “Based on all the tragedy that happened here, look what it's doing. It became a place of healing.”
“What do you hope this place becomes?” I asked.
"I don't know but I'm coming back. I'm coming back. I told him I'm coming to church,” Debra responded as she smiled.
Debra credits her faith and family for helping her get through the tough years. Not only did she lose Kirk, but she lost her daughter. She’s now left without her kids.
“I had a daughter. I lost her two years ago,” she said. “That was difficult because I didn't think I would ever go through that twice.”
After losing her only children, Debra has been working tirelessly in the community to help other families that have lost.
“I think when you're grieving, you work until you drop so you can just sleep and keep moving and surviving.”
If you’ve ever driven through the intersections of 12th and Highland, 60th and Capitol or 6th and State in Milwaukee, did you notice the artwork at the bus stops near the corner.
Well...
“It’s an interactive bus stop display,” Debra said.
Debra collects mothers' stories about loss and victims' stories about what happened to them. At the bus stops, you’ll also notice a QR code where you can scan your phone and hear the voices from mothers and loved ones who were shot and killed.
"It’s great to see them feel empowered to own their own stories.”
The violence isn’t just in Milwaukee. Debra’s Gun Violence Project partnered with UWM, and you can see how widespread violence has traveled, and that’s why Debra travels.
She packs up these stories and takes them to other parts of the country for conferences, conventions and exhibits to discuss crime, mental health, violence and policing.
Through her work, Debra has met so many women in Milwaukee. She connected me with a few women, also moms, which brought me to an even larger project, discussing what connects them—loss, grief and hope.
A day after my meeting with Debra, I met with five women who all lost their sons to gun violence. We sat down together for two and a half hours. We talked about a variety of topics:
- Loss
- Grief and forgiveness:
- What being a mother means to them
- Mistakes as a parent
- Legacy: Moving forward
- Hope
Below is a list of the women's names and what they say happened the day of their sons deaths.
Tristaca Patrick-Yarborough lost her son Cory Crosby. The day we met, she wore a pearl bracelet with his photo in a small frame. She wears this bracelet every day.
“July 16 my son, was shot in gun violence on my father's birthday. He was shot in his back in the front of 41st and Capital of my dad and our family’s home for 40 years and I ran to him and at first, I moved my grandbaby. He had a Spiderman suit on. I said, ‘ wait stay right there.’ My dad was in the back, and he (Cory) fell down, and I’m like he’s fine he got shot in the arm. And then he fell back down and that motherly love, I knew my baby was gone. And I wasn’t able to shut his eyes, I immediately went into the street and went on my knees and began to pray and say, ‘lord not now.’ My dad he’s a veteran, he does not have a voice box, he tried to resuscitate him. He always says, ‘I tried.’
And my dad said, ‘he was my legs he was my arms.’
“He was borrowed to me by God, and I thank God for the 24 years that I had with him. But sometimes I get like Lord why? That was my best friend, that was my best friend, we had things we were going to do together.”
Colette Shumpert lost her son Michael Brown Jr. The day of the interview she wore a gold necklace with her son's name on it.
“December 7th of 2012, is the day that changed my life. I went to work I came home to do personal reviews for the end of the year and I got a call from my son's girlfriend saying, ‘Mom, Mike has been shot.’ I really went into faith mode, I said OK, how is he? She said that he appeared to be okay. He raised his hand at me. I ask where are they taking him. Where is he at? She said they just drove off they're headed to Froedtert. That drive was a cloud. I don’t exactly know how I got there. But when I got there, I was approached by the doctors. They said that the wound he had sustained was one that he had never seen anyone recover from. It began the journey of a couple of nights of respirators and conversations. Michael had signed up to be an organ donor. And I had prayed in that room before that conversation lord, I need you to do two things for me if this is the road I am going down. One, never let his life be in vain, and two I need you to go with me because I’m not make it if you don’t. And they came to me and talked to me about organ donation and for a glimpse in the greatest sadness that I ever had in my life I found the peace that said that God was with us, whether I liked it or not.”
Trinika Walker lost her son William Davis Jr. and her grandson A'kai William Stilo.
I got a call August 6th, 2019 9:45 a.m. it was my daughter called and said that they had put it on Facebook that Will had got shot, immediately my heart dropped. I set on the couch trying to take it in, I called my pastor and told him that Will just got shot and I would be heading to St. Mary's, he said keep me on the phone I will pray. My pastor began to pray as I went to St. Mary's. The streets were dark it was like a nightmare, but the whole way I got green lights. Once I got there, Facebook was waiting, everyone was there before me. They had to shut the hospital down. The first thing they said to me, the detective said do you want to see him? Can you identify him? I said hold on, is he bloody? They said yes. I did not want to see that, so I said Dad you do it. So, dad went in to ID him, it was our son. I said are you sure? He said yes. Are you sure? Yes! So, I stormed out because I couldn’t handle it and went to my grandma's house. Everybody was there too, when she opened the door, I fell on my knees and began to cry because the thought of not having my son, my only son. 17, he went to Brookfield East, he was an artist, talented he brought people together.
Just last year, Trinika lost another family member... her 3-year-old grandson.
“As I’m fighting for years to stop the violence (in ZIP code) 53206, I’m helping moms, I get another phone call just last year at 5 o'clock in the morning - are you sitting down, where are you? You need to come to your daughter’s house. I said why? I had the same feeling when Will passed, so I began to shout over the phone what, why? As I made it to my daughter’s house, I learned that my 3-year-old grandson got a hold of her boyfriend’s gun and turned it on himself and shot himself in the head. My daughter doesn't have the faith that I have so when I get down to pray it's about my daughter, it's about the community, it's about you all, it's about others. It hurts being here, it hurts so bad. But God said share your story continue to talk about it and don't sit down, so I continue to share my story until it helps someone.
Melody Villanueva lost her son Jakari Wright. That day, she carried a photo book with dozens of photos of her son and family.
August 18, 2018, I get a call around 6:30 pm. I really don’t remember the in-between all I remember was that my mom gasped because she was upstairs so I felt like there was something wrong with her so I really had to ask again what happened. It was his biological father – a man that did not raise my son, that executed my son that day. I was in Virginia at that time because I was taking care of my father – who I just lost 3 months from that date from pancreatic stage four cancer. I never asked why, to this day I still never asked why because there is no why for any person let alone a father figure, whether they're in that child's life or not, knowing that you created another being, there are just no excuses. So, I’m dealing with grief still every day. For me, last time I spoke to my son was three days before his murder – was to remind him to go vote. I’m a mother to two beautiful biracial kids, unfortunately I lost my only son. I've always raised them to walk in their truth to speak truth, power.
Julie Powells lost her son Marquis Powell. She wore his ashes that were made into a necklace that wrapped around her neck.
February 18th, 2023, this year, I got a call, and I knew something was wrong. He got caught between the two doors, the first one he got shot in the back and he stood over there, over him and shot him six times. He walked away from her and stood over him and shot him six times – he never made it through the second door – then I just knew, I said Marquies call me, you okay, call me, he would never respond. Then my nephew called and said get here, get here now!
I'll be so depressed some days I can't even get out of bed, I can't get out the bed some days. It's like you know there's a pain in my heart. One day I went to this thing about gun violence, and I started to get involved and I signed an email to see all the names on the email and I realized I wasn’t the only one, you know. I needed the support because they know the pain that I'm feeling. You know it's like if you’ve never lost someone you don’t know the pain its different than losing a mother, brother, or cousin, but to lose someone that you carried for nine months and loved for 23 years.....”
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